20 Things I Have Learned from a Lifetime Reading Comics.

1. British comics have the jump on American comics when it comes to nuttiness.
   
2. There is just something nice about old paper.
   
3. The comics world is like a finely tuned ecosystem. There is a place for all titles. The Beano, 2000 AD, Batman, Fantastic Four, all have their niche.
   
4. A little bit of madness goes a long way.
   
5. Why are there no humour comics for adults?
   
6. Whilst the Golden Age comics may lack "sophistication" they sure belted along.
   
7. Captain Haddock is the most human comic character ever created.
   
8. Frank Miller can not write female characters.
   
9. Alan Moore is not a crazy magician. He, like Bill Hicks has seen through the world & has seen what is worth fighting for.
   
10. There is no British comics scene to speak of.
    
11. Superheroes can never truly die unless they are a second tier character.
    
12. They are the most subversive form of publishing.
    
13. DC nor Marvel seem to publish comics for children.
    
14. The Pulp heroes are sadly missing.
    
15. Female heroes in general are given short shrift.
    
16. Unless they are Power Girl.
    
17. Wonder Woman the most high profile bondage lover in the media.
    
18. Bruce Wayne & Dick Grayson are not gay. I will fight you if you say otherwise.
    
19. "The door of the cage is open Evey. All that you feel is the wind from outside. Don't be afraid"
    
20. It can't all be grim & gritty, the are both light & shadows in life.
    

20 Things I Have Learnt About God

1. You can jump up & down, get angry or even ignore God.
2. But God doesn't go away.
3. God doesn't live in a church.
4. God doesn't live in your house.
   
5. The Bible is a bad idea of God's personality.
6. God can seem nearer when you are drunk.
   
7. This is not true. You are just leaning on God more.
   
8. Accepting God completely gives you one of the most breath taking viewpoints of life.
   
9. God is bigger, smaller more elaborate & simple than you can imagine.
   
10. You put up the barriers between you and God.
    
11. You make the distance between you and God.
    
12. God created huMANkind not huBABYkind.
    
13. Responsibility isn't that daunting once you look it in the eye.
    
14. God is not clichéd.
    
15. God's charge to us is the most difficult thing we can ever do. Without his help.
    
16. God is waiting for you to get over yourself. Hurry up about it.
    
17. God does not permit suffering. We do.
    
18. Omnipotence? Why baby your creation. They will never learn!
    
19. 6 Billion years of careful evolution & we forget to thank God more often than not.
20. God Loves you. No matter what.

20 Things I Have Learned From Having A Mobile Phone

1. It is incredibly useful. Pretty redundant, but incredibly true.
   
2. Texting, whilst an efficient way to communicate, irks my sense of word correctness.
   
3. I could have my phone taken off me & I would be annoyed, but it wouldn't end my life.
   
4. An iPod for music & a phone for texting means I have a nice degree of separation. I like that.
   
5. I see no need for a ring tone. I'm too busy listening to music anyway.
   
6. I wake better at an alert for a text message than the actual alarm.
   
7. It has removed my need for an alarm clock. This shall be rectified next pay day.
   
8. Apparently it's the end of the world if I don't answer the phone.
   
9. A vibrating alert is easier to ignore than a ringing phone.
   
10. NEVER LEAVE YOUR PHONE IN ANOTHER ROOM. IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD.
    
11. A text message can have as much emotional significance as a letter. But never the same.
    
12. I get disproportionately irked by when the text says "*some text missing*"
    
13. I often want to chuck it over the bridge of the Kingsway.
    
14. But don't when I realise people may get terribly upset when I don't text back.
    
15. I aim to to text back as soon as I get the message, but I often fail.
    
16. Getting a text when I am working is exciting as I have no idea who it is from.
    
17. Tone gets all muddled in text messages, which is irritating for someone who relies on tone so much in their jokes.
    
18. No matter how good the mobile, the "I'm talking from a mobile" sound is unmistakable.
    
19. I will run out credit about 2 weeks before payday.
    
20. Mobile phones may mean we can communicate faster & better, but it sure as hell doesn't make talking to one and another any easier.
    

20 Things I Learned From Being A Shopping Centre Santa.

1. It's more responsibility than you can imagine.
   
2. There is nothing more joy filling than seeing a child's face break into a large smile upon seeing/hearing the red suited figure.
   
3. It so much more than you in the suit. You are now Santa. Remember that at all times.
   
4. They will pull the beard. By they I mean babies.
   
5. The beard pulls will hurt. More than you expect.
   
6. Something as simple as wishing a passer-by "Merry Christmas" followed by a booming "Ho ho ho" will do more than you expect for them.
   
7. Mothers will hold babies seemingly by the end of their pinky.
   
8. They will give you the baby & you can't find the hand holds.
   
9. Be ready for the curve balls. They usually come from the parents.
   
10. All Santas are the same person. No matter what the difference in height.
    
11. Strangely annoying teenagers don't want to come and sit on Santa's knee. Bizarre.
    
12. Father Christmas? Who is he?
    
13. The sack must be carried on the shoulder at all times.
    
14. The reindeer get skittish inside, that's why they stay on the roof of the shopping centre.
    
15. You can't afford to lag, if you do that's when you will shatter a child's dreams.
    
16. Smile & boom out the "Ho ho ho"s.
    
17. Remember that whatever happens, you have an end time.
    
18. People will hit on your elves. Especially if they are young female elves.
    
19. Landscape not portrait your pillow.
    
20. It's highly rewarding & I would recommend it to anyone.